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Friday, November 24, 2006

The holidays make me very reminiscent and quite sad.
I've heard that's not unusual...but I sure hope it's not too common.

I use to get excited about this time, would look forward to it actually...not so much anymore.

The afternoon was very eery to me...cloudy...very still and quiet (the silence was unnerving).

Was doing a lot of thinking, remembering...

Lost friendships...

Missed opportunities...

What if's...[What if I had stayed in bed]
Coulda's...[I Could have called in sick]
Woulda's...[I Would have made breakfast]
Shoulda's...[I Should have reacted differently]

My brain doesn't shut up.
And I thought that this thing would help me get it all out, all these words dancing in there...but I'm embarassed and scared to share it all.
No one should know these things.
Not even me.

maybe "confessing" in a purely visual way will help
- thats what my artwork is all about
- if only i could just work the way i want to, the way i need would all be ok.

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