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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

digitally colored, organic drawings

I never posted these that I finished about 2 weeks ago.
Most of them are the drawings that I do in the "waiting" room, when I take my mom to her many doctors. The "auto drawings" were a few ink drawings that I did when I was at lunch (in my last job) - it was a way of de-stressing.

I scan the drawings, then I start coloring and eventually altering them a bit with
Corel Painter. They each transform and become a new piece, very different from the its great to see the changes happen before my eyes.

© "waiting room,3" (color) 2008 - I put the B/W one so you can see how much they change from their original version.

©"waiting room,5" (color) 2008

© "auto drawing,4" (color) 2008

© "waiting room,6" (color) 2008

© "waiting room,7" (color) 2008

I really love these (surprise, surprise) and I find it really interesting that recently most of my work is organic. I've been feeling lately like I, as a person, am disappearing.
Oh boy, this is hard to explain but I'll try.
I've just become a series of routines . I'm on auto-pilot most of the time, so that I sometimes feel as if I'm not even here, because I have a predictable schedule, interspersed with last-minute decision-making.
How did this happen?

Anyway, my organic drawings have always been a mystery to me. The closest I have been able to get with interpreting them is that they are a "micro" exploration of my world. It's my way of focusing on details (since that is sometimes missing from my "regular" work). So these flowing lines and rounded shapes are sometimes frightening, but always beautiful details of my internal "landscape".

I see the focus lately on these types of drawings as symbolic of my disappearance.
It's as if most of what I can muster lately is an abstract version of myself....just focusing on the little details, because the big picture is a sad reality that even I don't want to examine closely.

ugh....I'm tired...of EVERYthing.

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