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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Hari, folklore and a bunch of birds

Hari,my last remaining betta fish died last night.
It's the strangest thing. He was perfectly fine and it was only yesterday evening that I noticed he didn't want to eat.
For the last few weeks, I've been giving him one pellet during the day and another in the evening...so that he doesn't overfeed (as bettas tend to do).
I noticed he didn't want to eat and he seemed to have some labored breathing, but he didn't seem to be that bad, as he was swimming around a bit. Usually when they're sick they will stop swimming or swim lopsided, etc.
So I thought I'd have to do some treatment today if he seemed worse,etc. Well, I took off the towel I covered his tank with (so he could have darkness) and he was lifeless on the gravel.

It's something I won't ever get used to...

I'm thinking that I won't have any more fish, but then I remember something my mom has always said.

OK, you're all going to think this is weird, but bare with me.

There are superstitions that are passed on from generation to generation and this one is no exception. My mom has always told me that her mother and grandmother and great-grandmother,etc. always said that it's best to have an animal in the home, a pet, etc...because if "death" passes over your home and is coming to "take" someone, it will choose an animal, if it's available, instead of a person.

Yeah, I know.

It's folklore that has always been on the back of my mind, ready to go into my artwork. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.

Anyway, I've always had all sorts of pets, despite my severe allergies to most of them. I just love animals...so much that for the longest time I thought I would be a vet (but a high school teacher squashed that dream when she told me I wasn't cut out for it, because that field was "too" competitive for women and I would have to be a genius in science, etc....yeah, talk about traumatic...lol)

I've had dogs, cats, a duck, mice, hamsters, chickens, a squirrel (yeah), fish, parakeets, guinea pig...well, you get the picture. But inevitably pets pass away and there's a transition period when there aren't any pets in the home, etc.

It's during those "transition, pet-less" periods that I get really nervous about "death".
The folklore inevitably has seeped into my system so much that I start having "death fog" and "strange-knock-on-the-door-that-when-opened-reveals-cloaked-man" nightmares....yeah, lol.

Anyway #2

I've mentioned the abundance of bird references and experiences in my life recently. Now is the time that birds migrate down south and there are tons of them down here (almost seem like the same ones every year).
I happen to love watching them as they swoop down in formation and end up filling the electricity cables all along the street. I enjoy watching them interact with each other and how they move, etc.
There are these other tiny birds, just a little bit bigger than hummingbirds that have been coming to my balcony to visit (I wish I knew what kind they are). First it was a couple and they investigated the plants and checked themselves out in the reflective glass (one even tried fighting with his own reflection...too cute).
This week there have been about 5-6 that come on a daily basis. They take dust baths (well, actually "potting soil" baths and they get inside the potted plants...my guess is finding bugs to eat? They're just too cute for words and they calm my nerves significantly. I could seriously watch them all day long.
Thinking about the folklore, I might consider feeding them....wouldn't that "technically" make them my pets?
Hmm, have to mull that one over a bit, 'cause I don't want them pooping all over my pretty balcony.

Here's a terrible photo of one of the first visitors.

The quality isn't very good, because that "film" on the window has a grainy quality from the inside.
But I'll try to take more and post them here.

1 comment:

Amie said...

Ana, Don't you wish the universe could be a little more clear if it is trying to tell you something. I am referring to your recent bird experiences. In November and December last year, I was being bombarded it seemed by Golden Retrievers.
First, the man that was remodeling my kitchen has 4 rescue Goldens. Then while the remodeling was going on, I was at Costco and picked up a book by Dean Koontz...who I have never read because I thought his books were scary (I am not a fright freak like you),but this was about a character named Amy (hmmmm) who rescues Goldens and one comes to her that is almost like a reincarnation of her first one.
So at Christmas, my 87 yr old mother likes to go the the used book store and pick out a book for everyone that she thinks would be personal to them. I open my present from her and its a book of Golden Retrievers. I was shocked. I love dogs, have always had 2 to 3 at a time, but have never owned nor desired to own a Golden.
Now a couple days after Christmas, I stopped over at one of my patients homes, she left the door open for me to come in. I stuck my head in the door and yelled her name, she said to come on in. I no sooner get inside when a 1 yr old Golden comes running up to me and jumps on me.
About a week later, I was getting my annual eval at work. My new supervisor and I were talking about my future and we talked about how I missed working with oncology patients and maybe my future was in hospice. When I left her office I looked over at rack of professional magazines and there is a magazine with a picture of an elderly person and with a Golden and the related article is regarding hospice. I did an internet search on one of our local hospices thinking maybe that was the message I was supposed to get. And their therapy dog was a Golden Retriever!
After that, the influx of images and encounters stopped, but I still can't help feeling I was being told something. Of course I thought it meant I should make a move to hospice, but I knew it was not the right time then...and not even so sure that was the message. But the whole thing still baffles me and I think that I missed something.
Sorry about Hari, get another pet, it helps heal the hurt.